


The Distance Between

by freezerjerky



Series: The Passage of Time [12]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Infidelity, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 11:06:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8888485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freezerjerky/pseuds/freezerjerky
Summary: Long distance relationships are hard.





	1. London

**Author's Note:**

> The "infidelity" in this fic is very minor and all parties involved handle it like responsible adults. I still like to tag for anything like this as a warning.

Long distance relationships, Merlin soon discovers, are just as awful as everyone makes them out to be. First of all, there's a five hour time difference that they have to contend with. By the time Arthur's settled in enough to talk in the evening, Merlin's already mostly asleep most nights. Second, when you're used to seeing someone at least half of the days of any given week, you start to miss them like hell.

After a few weeks of the new separation, Merlin's learning to manage it. They've agreed to Skype every Sunday, the easiest day to arrange a meeting, and they text and talk regularly. Merlin gives Arthur life updates and Arthur shares tidbits of information about his job and what he's working on. It isn't difficult to pick up the context whenever Arthur mentions Mithian, the heiress to an immense bookstore fortune and his childhood friend. (Sweetheart, Merlin's certain.) Because of course, Uther's not just going to send Arthur away from his unsuitable boyfriend, but he's going to put a suitable option in front of him.

It says something deeper about their relationship that, despite Merlin's natural reaction to dislike Mithian, he trusts Arthur completely. The unguarded smile he sees as he first catches a glimpse of Arthur on a Sunday tells it all.

"You look good," Merlin says by way of greeting. "What've you been up to today?"

"Merlin, it's barely the afternoon. I went for brunch with some of father's business partners and I've been on the couch waiting for you to call me." 

For the duration of his stay in New York, Arthur's been set up in a penthouse suite overlooking Central Park. He's made several jokes about Merlin coming to visit him, but to no avail. Merlin doesn't have the time off or finances to come visit, at least not without rebudgeting and adjusting his plans.

"Well," Merlin starts to speak. He's perching the laptop in his arms as he moves from his couch to sit on his bed. "I had brunch with your sister today. I think she's seeing someone."

"Morgana doesn't see people romantically," Arthur says. "That's just not how she is. Ever."

"She was doing that thing people do when they look at their phone and smile a bunch?" Merlin pulls his blankets around his shoulders. Having a bed beside the window has its drawbacks in November.

"Probably looking at some art or something."

"Or she's found someone that she's very into." Merlin shrugs. "I'm just impressed you didn't correct me when I said sister and not half-sister."

"I've been distracted by the fact that you've got the-" Arthur gestures to his cheek. "The outline of a pillow on your face. You were taking a nap on your couch, weren't you?"

Merlin stifles a yawn. "Mhm. Almost slept through the Skype date. But I didn't. Boyfriend of the year material."

"I'll have to have a medal made for when I return."

He perks up a bit at that. "When you return?"

"Father hasn't given a date yet," Arthur admits. "He's pleased with what I'm doing, but I think he's going to try to push this to the limit."

He sighs, laying down and pulling a pillow to lean against. "I really miss you, Arthur."

"I miss you too, Merlin. It can't be too much longer."

It feels as though there's got to be ages left.

 

On Wednesday, Gwaine takes Merlin to the pub. A few others were supposed to join them for some drinks, but everyone else cancelled. Gwaine, despite working at a pub, doesn't seem to ever lose his enthusiasm for having a night out for drinks. Merlin's grateful for it that night. Gwaine buys the first round, and the second, and the third. To keep Merlin from nattering on about Arthur, Gwaine talks about his own love life. Or sex life, whatever it is. Merlin always finds these stories endlessly amusing, even if he knows that in the long term he's a part of them.

All's going well, until Gwaine switches from talking about his last conquest to his bad luck wooing Percy.

"Maybe you should try a different approach," Merlin offers, leaning in to make his point.

"What approach? I've tried everything."

Thankfully, they're mostly alone at the pub as the crowd is clearing out. They're sat at the bar nursing their last drinks for the evening.

"Not slagging around?"

Gwaine shakes his head. "If he won't take me as I am, then he can bugger off."

Merlin sighs and finishes his drink. "That's not the point, mate. The point is that it can be sort of...not encouraging."

"I've encouraged him lots, and he clearly fancies me. I don't know what else I have to do."

"I just said!" Merlin exclaims. It's a lost cause to explain this to Gwaine, he's been trying for months.

"Maybe I'll just find someone else to go after," Gwaine says.

"I fully support that if you're going to be so dense. Find someone equally as dense."

Gwaine takes that opportunity to lean forward further, pressing his mouth against Merlin's in a gentle, but still very intent kiss. Merlin doesn't have time to think and presses back into the kiss. Gwaine's lips are a bit chapped but still soft and under other circumstances it would be easy to get lost in the kiss but he remembers a moment later and pushes him away.

"Don't do that ever again," Merlin grits out. He's immediately fumbling for his jacket. "That's- that's not your place. You know I'm monogamous."

"Shit, Merlin, I wasn't even thinking."

"When do you ever?" he asks, throwing his hands up in the air. "I'm in a committed relationship that you know is leaving me feeling vulnerable and then you go and do that?"

"I didn't mean anything by it!" Gwaine's got his own leather jacket on in a flash, ready to follow Merlin to the door. "You're my best friend."

Merlin stalks toward the door, aware that every eye left at the pub is set on him. He falters a moment, then turns around.

"Percy won't give you a chance because you flirt with everyone. Everyone. It's not about you sleeping around, it's about the fact that you can't even pay attention to him without eyeing someone else up. It's about- you kiss him one night then find some stranger's bed to keep you warm next. He needs someone to commit, because that's important to him. But I don't think you have much respect for commitment, do you?"

"You've got to admit that kissing takes two people, Merlin, not the one."

There's a moment when Merlin debates speaking but instead he leaves the pub. He's got something else to handle right now.

 

Realistically, Merlin knows he should take some time to think things over, to debate what to do with himself. Instead, he immediately asks Arthur to chat on Skype when he gets home, which Arthur readily agrees to.

Opening the video, he's greeted with the view of Arthur eating his dinner, a salad he's ordered for room service and a beer. It's such a mundane, normal view of him and something twists in his stomach at the sight.

"What's up?" Arthur asks, smiling at the screen.

"I just-" Merlin sheds off his jacket, realizing he hasn't taken it off yet. "I have something to tell you. Something that happened tonight."

Arthur's smile immediately falters but he tries to hide it. "What's happened, Merlin?"

"Gwaine kissed me," he admits, because he's not one to dwell on lies or try to conceal anything. It's important to be honest with Arthur. "And I kissed him back. Only for a second."

Merlin tries to look intently at the screen, see if he can read Arthur's expression, but he can't. Arthur's withdrawn into himself, pulled away from the screen.

"It was an accident and I stopped him as soon as I knew what he was doing and I won't ever let it happen again but it happened and I can't not tell you."

"I don't understand."

"I'm sorry, Arthur. Shit, I'm so sorry."

"Can you just- can you hang up now and give me some time to think?"

"Of course." Merlin nods, willing himself not to cry. "Of course, I love you."

He sees Arthur bite his lip and then hang up on the call. He probably deserves that.

 

Merlin expects silence for a day or two, but by the weekend he's starting to worry. Arthur hasn't texted, hasn't called, hasn't even been present on social media. He knows he's made a big mistake with what he's done, but he also wants to work on things with Arthur and they can't work things out if he refuses to talk. Then again, what if Arthur is done working on things? What if Arthur's just done? He's probably decided to run away with Mithian and have a few perfect children together because Merlin can't manage to keep his lips off of someone else. 

The thought is very uneasy in Merlin's stomach, but he's an adult and he'll deal with the consequences. He can deal with the box of his things being dropped at his flat or Arthur coming to collect his shirts from Merlin's drawers. It's just that he really, really doesn't want to and the relationship doesn't feel over. Arthur's not the type to ghost on someone he's been with for months and he's not petty enough for revenge.

There has to be a way to get through to Arthur, to let him know that he's the priority in Merlin's life and always will be. And that he'll never kiss someone else again, for his entire life. Still, he has to let his boyfriend have his space to dwell, so he waits out the weekend, going to bed uneasy on a Sunday night.

He rolls over at about four a.m. to a voicemail. Hopeful that it's Arthur, he gives it a listen, eager for some development. It's Gwaine.

"Listen, Merlin. You're my best friend, and I really fucked up with what I did," he says firmly, "and I really, really hope we can still be friends. But I'm calling you to say- I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've been leaning out of my window for several hours smoking and you're right. I keep telling Perce I'm into him, but then I think it's okay to chase after other people, it's like I'm expecting him to wait for me to be a better person. It's time for me to either be better about this or bow out, and I think I'm going to try to be better. I'm going to stop being so childish and work for this."

The voicemail clicks off and for a moment the city stands completely silent. Merlin throws his blankets off of himself and makes a snap decision.


	2. New York

Arthur more or less hates life in the penthouse suite. Sure, the view of Central Park is incomparable, but his father owns it and has unfettered access to it. As a joke one evening, Arthur added a large amount of names to the official guest list besides his father's. Nonetheless, when he's told that he has a guest, he has to keep from audibly groaning. He can't imagine what his father would feel the need to visit for, but he's no doubt it's something not good.

In the lift to his apartment, he checks his phone. Merlin hasn't texted since the day prior and he'd be worried if he wasn't not texting him. Admittedly, this is not the best approach to an emotionally difficult situation. He supposes he wants to take the time to be petty about this, but he also knows the pettiness can destroy a relationship. He doesn't want to destroy his relationship with Merlin. He debates what to text him, starting out a few times before cancelling each. Finally, he opts to send a simple "hey."

He peers into the room immediately upon stepping in, giving a cursory look around. It's dinner time and he doesn't want to be tied up with his father for long. "Father?" he asks before noticing someone stirring on his bed. His face immediately lights up when he catches who it is, Merlin sitting up in the bed wearing just one of his tshirts and a pair of pants.

"I could make a comment about locking the doors," Merlin says, "but the real question is why have you told the front desk staff to let me in?"

"In case you'd decide to visit me by surprise, obviously," Arthur jokes. "It worked, apparently. You're here."

"I'm here," Merlin answers bashfully. "I, erm. Flew out this morning and then I got lost and then I showed up looking like a mad man and the staff still let me up here. So I'd really reconsider the safety of where you're staying."

Arthur slips out of his shoes and moves to sit on the edge of the bed. "You should have told me that you were coming."

"I'd just decided this morning. I- I needed to see you. I'm sorry if this is-" Merlin was running on pure adrenaline for so much of the day, he's just now realizing how foolish this whole idea might be. "I just couldn't bear not having the chance to fix things with you."

"Apparently we're both children who give each other the silent treatment. Christ, I'm sorry for that, Merlin." Arthur leans forward, pressing a kiss to Merlin's forehead.

"You've got nothing to be sorry about. I'm the one who fucked up. It would have been understandable if you never wanted to see me again."

"How about you and I have some dinner before we get into this?" Arthur offers. Merlin wants to protest, he wants to get everything out first, but his stomach growls and he has to obey that sound.

 

Arthur ends up ordering an excessive amount of food from room service and they sit and eat in bed. It's far from what he usually does, but it feels indulgent and he imagines Merlin must be exhausted from the long journey he took to get to New York. After they've each finished off their slices of cheesecake, there's a silence hanging between them.

"Gwaine and I had gone out for drinks," Merlin begins, "and then he kissed me. We were talking about him and Percy and it just happened. I don't- it's not that he kissed me, I guess, but that for a few moments I kissed him back."

He hates the look on Arthur's face as he explains this. He hates that he's done something to hurt Arthur like this. 

"I don't get jealous. Usually, or I don't- I don't show it," Arthur clarifies. He certainly does get jealous and Merlin could provide many specific examples. "What I feel about this isn't jealousy. I'd expect it was but I just felt hurt and angry and like I must have done something wrong to make you do that."

"Arthur. No. No, you didn't do anything wrong, I was just- I missed you and I was a bit drunk and wasn't thinking. It's not an excuse, but that's why it happened."

"Didn't I do something, though? I came here, I willingly went far away from you. And you and I both know that my father's using this whole situation to parade Mithian and whoever else he has up his sleeve in front of me."

"And I trusted you that you'd never cheat on me. And I wish you could trust me the same way, but I don't deserve it."

"I can't give you that trust right now, not at this moment. But I still want to build it up with you." Arthur places a hand on Merlin's knee, squeezing it gently.

Instead of taking this small gesture, though, Merlin moves in for an embrace, holding him close. They stay like that for a long while until Merlin knocks over their plates and then they break into laughter. Somehow the laughter turns into kissing and neither of them can let go of the feelings in the pits of their stomachs, but they can feel the solution is just below the surface, all it will take is time.

 

At some point, Merlin takes the time to explain that he's bought a ticket until the end of the week. Arthur, regretfully, has to work, but he'll manage to find some time off to spend with him. Merlin takes his first day to explore in the city and meets Arthur for lunch at a pizza shop. Arthur seems a bit awkward and very nervous and Merlin starts to worry that he's having regrets.

"I, erm-" Arthur clears his throat. "I have dinner plans tonight. With Mithian. I'd like to take you to dinner me, if you'd like to meet her."

Even if he doesn't have to worry about her, Merlin's not inclined to like Mithian. However, he's here to make his peace.

"Will you take me to see some live theatre in return?" Merlin jokes in hopes of keeping the mood light.

"I've got tickets to see a ballet this Friday," Arthur states. "I know you like ballet."

"See, now you're just trying to butter me up to go meet Mithian."

"Is it working?"

"Definitely."

 

Dinner is at a very nice restaurant. So nice that Merlin feels incredibly underdressed in his jumper and jeans. Arthur dismisses it with some comments about his bum, which mostly does away with his insecurities. It's not like he's competing with Mithian, if there was a competition (and there's not), he'd have won it already. He can look however he wants to look.

When he's first introduced he's immediately intimidated, though. Mithian is wearing a lovely deep purple dress, cut low but not too low, and her hair is pulled back to frame her face. Her very pretty face. The worst thing happens, too, when she meets him.

"Merlin! I've heard so much about you," she says, shaking his hand and then resuming her seat. She waits until he's seated to continue speaking. "I can see now why Arthur keeps going on and on, you're a catch."

There's no part of her tone that sounds anything but sincere. She's not the woman desperate for Arthur's love that the illogical part of his brain feared. 

"Does he go on and on?" Merlin asks curiously. 

"Oh, endlessly. I've known him most of my life and I've never known him to go on like that about anything."

"Even football?" Merlin teases, reaching for Arthur's hand under the table.

"Merlin, honestly," Arthur adds in. "I'd leave you for any Arsenal player. We've discussed this previously and my stance is not changing on the matter."

"Do you see what I have to put up with?" Merlin jests, then leans in and pecks Arthur's lips.

"You should get away from that for a few moments," Mithian says. "While he's at work tomorrow, I've got the day off, and I may or may not have tickets for Hamilton."

In that moment, Merlin's fairly certain that Mithian is his new best friend.

 

He spends his Wednesday with Mithian and they get along famously now that he's given her a chance. Then on Thursday, Arthur's taken the day off work but he insists they stay in because it's a holiday for Americans. Regardless of motive, they spend most of their Thursday in bed. Friday is set aside for more sight seeing and then the ballet at night. They walk, hand in hand, back to the penthouse afterwards. Merlin's flight will be leaving the next afternoon and he's already wishing he had more time. But he can't stay. This was an impulse, and he'll have to get back to work. Even if Arthur's offering to help him pay for his plane ticket, he still needs to be making money.

They take a nice long bath together, then sit on the balcony wrapped under warm blankets and hot tea. It's the type of night that either wants to end.

"Are you sure you've got to go?" Arthur asks. "You've barely seen anything of New York."

"I've had some pretty good views of Central Park," Merlin states, ducking a bit further under the blankets. "And I took a full week off of work, they'll be expecting me back by Monday morning."

"I could come up with some pretense for you to have a job here, I'm sure the gallery would take you back after I'm done here."

"Arthur, that's very kind, but I need to go home. Where I'll wait for you." He rests his cheek against Arthur's shoulder.

"When I get home, I'd like to have a serious conversation about moving in together."

Merlin glances up at him. "Okay, we'll talk about that." Objectively, it feels a bit soon, but Merlin also knows by the time they've talked everything out and negotiated how to live together, they'll have been together over a year.

Arthur turns to him. "I just really fucking missed you these past weeks. I know other people go longer, but I'm glad I got the chance to see you."

"Me too. I'm glad to be here. I think I needed to be here right now, just like you'll come home when you're needed there."

"Mhm. Does George miss me?"

"Probably worse than I do, but cats are bitter little creatures."

Arthur's arm loops around Merlin's shoulder. It's cold and it's late, but tomorrow he has to put Merlin on a plane and won't see him again for possibly a few months, so he's going to savor this.


End file.
